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Heartbreak can feel so crippling. When something you are sure in seemingly slips through your fingers and all you can do is watch. The anger, hurt and confusion you feel can eat you alive. These are all symptoms of our lives and can destroy or hinder true healing. Recently, I have had my heartbreak that could easily pull me down. That though this pain is so raw and hindering, I know I can get through this.
Please take this as my personal experience with this range of emotions, but don’t take what I have to say as your absolute truth. Also, don’t take this as a “holier than thou” sermon. I’m not preaching to you. I’m describing my way of finding a way through this dark forest that my path has diverged. There are countless avenues to seek help through if it seems hopeless. Just know that it is never hopeless. Take this from me, and everyone here at The Prairie News, there will always be someone there to listen to you. Now that you’ve seemingly made it this far, let me take you on my journey so far.
This year has been relatively difficult for me. Hard news and loss have plagued my year and now even more heartbreak. All of this, on top of this last semester of school, leading up to my graduation in the fall, has led me to feel drained. I’ve had that mentality of “bring it on; what more can you throw at me?” Well, I found out, and it almost dropped me. Down for the count. Ring the bell. Throw in the towel. He’s done. But I had to get back up.
Easily I could sit and regret, hate and hurt over this pain. I could allow this hurt to absorb everything in me and change who I am. But I have chosen to use the absolute love I have for the six years I was graced to spend to learn to forgive truly. In this time, I have only been able to turn my pain away and give it up. No, I don’t mean I’m ignoring this pain, compartmentalizing it as I too often have done before. I have had to refind my faith to keep my head above the waters; that I may see some light in this darkness on the path that has diverged us. I have turned to prayer that when I feel this sickness, this anger that I may pray for blessing and love to surround both of us.
Nobody’s perfect, and I’m not. Things that I’ve done, shame that I have felt, I’ve had to learn to forgive myself and allow for that pain to be taken as well. I continuously pray to stay on this path that I am now on, and that the light through this forest guides me. I pray that their heart may be protected, softened and guided to where it needs to be. I pray for happiness. I pray that for you reading this, that you may also find peace in these troubling times, and may stay true to your paths. There is always hope. The nerd in me would like to leave you with this timeless quote, spoken by Samwise Gamgee in the film adaption of J.R.R. Tolkien’s “The Two Towers,” “Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn’t. Because they were holding on to something…That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for.”
For more information and mental health statistics and healthy coping mechanisms, follow these links.